Football Jokes

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1) Robots

Julian Ryall reported from Tokyo for The Scotsman newspaper on January 10, 2006, that Japanese robotics experts at Keio University, Tokyo claim that their robots will beat humans at football one day. The robots stand some 38 cm tall and weigh only 2.4kg. Shu Ishiguro, head of Robot Laboratory in Osaka, is confident that this will happen and that by 2050 the human winners of the World Cup will be defeated. His fellow scientists are working on prototypes as you are reading this report. Will is doubtful that this could ever happen but has to admit that he probably won't be around to see it if it does come to fruition. N.B. England have their own Robot - Peter Crouch complete with dance

2) Amazing Gantry5-a-side Football on freeway

We all know that goal keepers are crazy, but road football?  Nutty. By the way, who is that goal keeper?  Guy thinks it's Oliver Kahn, the German and Bayern M´┐Żnchen goalie. Incidentally the only thing robotic about Oliver Kahn was is ability to locate the ball in the penalty area.

3) Football Snippets

  1. An edition of Observer Sport Monthly featured a small item about a Moroccan parachutist. The one who, at the opening ceremony for the 1988 African Nations Cup in Casablanca, watched by royalty and the most important men in world football, delayed kick-off by missing the pitch and getting tangled up in the floodlights, where he hung upside down for 45 minutes.
  2. During the last Nations Cup in Mali two years ago, there was a full-scale punch-up on the pitch, involving a Cameroon coach and Malian soldiers. The coach, a former World Cup goalkeeper, had placed a charm in the Mali net. Witchcraft, juju, call it what you like.
  3. My favourite was the tale of the South African team which drove out of town, walked backwards and barefoot off the team bus into the the bush until they found a termite mound, urinated on it, then walked backwards to the bus again - and still didn't win the league.
  4. A Manchester cinema, for the World Cup Finals 2002, offered sushi-flavoured popcorn for England's matches.