Ricky, a customer, visits PC Express, the computer store, 'I'm looking
for a mystery adventure game with lots of graphics; you know, something
really challenging.''Well,' replies the shop assistant, 'Have you tried Windows Vista?'
'Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things
they make it easier to do don't
need to be done.'
Advisor: 'Press any key to continue.
Customer: I can't find the 'Any' key.
Tech Support: 'Have you made backups of your
software and data?'
Customer: 'I didn't know it had
Funny Computer Error Messages
'Known issue' - It's just the solution that is unknown.
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Hold down the Numb Lock. Now phone 555-1212-4590 and ask for
Path not found. Try the grass shortcut.
Kennel stack overflow problem. Your new Patch is now available.Call at the vet and collect your dog.
Your computer will ask you, 'Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?'
and click the left mouse button firmly.
Now you feel much better.
Short Computer Jokes
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire
to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he replied, 'I want to write stuff that the
whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional
level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
While my next door neighbour, Ian, was tapping away on his home computer,
his seven year old son, Nathan, sneaked up behind him.
Then Nathan turned and ran downstairs into the kitchen, bellowing to the
rest of the family, 'I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!
''What is it?' Mia, his elder sister asked gently but eagerly.
Proudly Nathan shouted, 'It's asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk,
When he was at Queen's University, Belfast, Northern Ireland, Kevin
took a part time job as a computer technician dealing with most problems by
telephone. One day he received a call.
The caller told Kevin that her computer was not working. She described
the problem and he concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and
Kevin told her to unplug the power cord and bring it to him in the office
and he would fix it.
About fifteen minutes later she showed up at Kevin's door with the power
cord in her hand.
Computer Practical Jokes
These are sneaky computer jokes that techies with too much time on their
hands play on their co-workers, typically on April Fool's Day.
Tape over the optical sensor of your friend's mouse.
Variation of this idea. Unplug the original mouse. Plug
in a fake mouse. When they check the connection it seems to be
working. One from Dr Devious.
Alter someone's Word Autocorrect.
Launch Word for Windows.Find 'Proofing settings'. Make changes to AutoCorrect, e.g.
I to you.
On someone else's machine press set High Contrast mode
Shift + ALT + PrintScreen.
Note 1: You need
Shift and not Ctrl. Also use the Left Alt and not the right.
Note 2: To Undo press the same combination: Shift + ALT
Note 3: Learn from this madness by
checking out the Ease of access settings in Control Panel.
Variation, turn on Narrator and drive the computer user mad.
Control Panel --> Ease of access.
You could edit the host file entry to direct google.com to a different site.
[You need some technical expertise to edit:C: \Windows\System32\drivers\etc ]
clock - Install this computer joke application.
Please write to Will and Guy if you have any funny
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