Every year there are new idiots, but it seems that this year the idiots of
next year already arrived... Alexander Strasser
- Lost Your Internet Connection
- They Said I Couldn't Break It
- Malcolm's ID 10 Service Call
- Ooops A cautionary tale of an UPS disaster
- Help is a foot -
New computer engineer
About a year ago, Jason, the company's top computer engineer, was called
out to make field service. When he got to the lady's house and was let in,
the first thing he noticed was the smell of gunpowder. The second thing he
saw was the double barrelled 12-gauge shotgun lying across her lap. And the
third thing was the big gaping hole in her computer screen.
Jason looked at her. She was a little grey haired woman, around 60 or so. Had she? Not possible. Still, he
had to ask.
Jason: 'Did you shoot...?'
Little Old Lady: 'Yes, I got a little mad at
the computer, the program would not load.
Tech Support told me that I couldn't
hurt it, but I think they were wrong.
Can you salvage anything?'
Miriam was having trouble with her computer. So Miriam called Malcolm the
computer wiz-kid and asked him to come over and look at her computer. Malcolm clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
Malcolm gave Miriam a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, Miriam called after him, 'So, what was wrong?'
replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? Malcolm, what does that error mean, just in case I need to fix
Malcolm grinned, 'Haven't
heard of an ID ten T error before?'
'No,' Miriam replied.
'Write it down, 'he said, 'and Miriam think you'll figure it out.'
So Miriam wrote down...... I D 1 0 T.
I sometimes take on work on the basis of '
no fix - no fee'
. So I went to
a company advertising for a consultant to find the bottleneck on their network. To
my delight, I got a contract. However, when I turned up, there were long
faces all round, the server room had been burnt down.
Before I abandoned the job, I thought at least they could tell me what had
happened. After a long pause, the junior techie blurted out that the UPS
spilt neat acid onto a pile paper, the acid burnt the paper starting a fire.
Cardboard boxes in the room also caught fire and that
in turn burnt down the server. Well no work for me, but a moral to one
and all, add: 'I must service the UPS'
to your disaster recovery plan.
Will as ever, keeps me on track. I should explain that an UPS is like a huge battery that attaches to servers, in the event of a power cut the UPS takes over the electrical supply to the computer.
THE COMPUTER OFFICE:
A place where you can relax
strenuous home life.
The confusion of one man multiplied by the
A place where everybody talks computing,
listens and everybody disagrees later.
An art of transmitting information
from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of
Someone who is early when you are late
and late when
you are early.
The art of dividing an office in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Two Heads Better Than One?
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