Funny Stories About Computer Chicken Crossing the Road

Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?

• Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ……

• C Chicken: It crosses the road
  without looking both ways.

• C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn’t
  have to cross the road, you’
  d simply refer to him on the other side.

• COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
  IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
  THEN
  PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
  VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
  ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
  ELSE
  GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

• Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don’t
  dip it in
  liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

• Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

• Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got flattened by the Web chicken.

• Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

• Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ‘
  backed up’
  before
  crossing.

• Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

• Linux Chicken: Don’t
  you *dare* try to cross
  the road the same way we do!

• Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there’s
  no way to tell it how to cross the road.

• Newton Chicken: Can’t
  cluck, can’t
  fly, and can’t
  lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

• OOP Chicken: It doesn’t
  need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

• OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it
  was so quiet that nobody noticed.

• Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe
  it on the side of your choice.

• VB Chicken: USHighways!<TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)

• Microsoft’s
  Chicken: It’s
  already on both
  sides of the road. What’s
  more its just bought the road.

• Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like……..
  chicken.

• XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

• The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.

• The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.

• The Vesta Chicken was eaten by my old friend ‘Mad Mick’

The Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define great, he said, ‘I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will
react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!’