Here is Will and Guy's collection of the Christmas jokes especially selected to appeal to children.
- Christmas Riddles
- Children's Christmas Cracker Jokes
- Funny Kids Christmas Stories
- Christmas Jokes for Grown Ups
- Funniest Christmas Jokes
- More Christmas Jokes For Kids
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
- What type of candle burns longer? None, they all burn shorter!
- What do you get if Santa comes down your chimney when the fire is ablaze? Crisp Kringle.
- What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has No L (Noel).
- What do you get if you team Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!
7 Children's Christmas Cracker Jokes
Funny how these riddles also make adults smile! Q. How do Snowman travel around? A. By riding an icicle. Q. Where do Snow-women like to dance? A. At Snowballs. Q. Why do reindeer scratch themselves? A. Because they're the only ones who know where they itch. Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A. Because he had low 'elf' esteem. Q: What's red and white and black all over? A: Santa Claus after he slid down the chimney. Q. Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory? A. Because he couldn't concentrate. Q. Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas: A. No. You'll have turkey the same us the rest of us.
Child Says a Prayer for the Christmas MealLee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then Lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, 'If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?'
Another Batch of Really Funny Christmas Jokes For KidsWhat did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine? This will sleigh you. Why doesn't Santa suffer from claustrophobia when climbs down the chimney? Because has had his flue jab. What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her photographs? Someday my prints will come. (Prince) What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. What do lions sing at Christmas? Jungle bells! What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
Snippet for the Adults! Oh, quit your W(h)ining, they are just pressing their luck. Grape times are yet to be harvested, so they say on the grapevine.
Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Christmas.' A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason. 'What's the matter, Al?' I asked. 'Ummmm', replied Alex slowly, 'I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Christmas'. Footnote: Punishment for boys who no longer believe in Father Christmas. They get clothes for Christmas.
Santa Claus ConundrumThe 3 stages of man: 1) He believes in Santa Claus. 2) He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. 3) He IS Santa Claus!
Here Are More Jokes From Our Christmas Website for Children
Funny Xmas Riddles For Children. Classic Conundrums Each and Every OneWhat Will and Guy find is that we cringe at 12 out of these 15 Christmas kids jokes - but smile at the other 3.
- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
- What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
- She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
- Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The man who fell into an upholstery factory is now fully recovered.
- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- Every calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Peter aged 7. 'Angels don't eat much, but they drink a lot of milk from Holy Cows.'