Funny Advent Calendar Online

Funny Advent Calendars

Traditionally Advent Calendars contain chocolates, but we have some interesting variations that you may prefer!

Funny Advent Calendar

Funny Advent CalendarFunny Advent Calendar The above our sort of advent calendar, treat yourself to one of these pre-Christmas presents. Coming soon to an off-licenses / liqueur stores near you.

Christmas Off-License Problem

It was the day of the big pre-Christmas Sale. Rumours of the sale of cheap booze, with some advertising in the local paper, were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30am, the store's opening time, in the store car park. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colourful and bawdy curses.  On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he shouted to the people at the end of the line. 'That does it!  If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!'
Woolworths' Xmas Special I've just received a Woolworths' Advent calendar.   It's all boarded up and there's nothing inside.

What To Do with a Large Snowfall

Uses of snow #37.  Keeping your beer and wine chilled.  What to do when you cannot get out because of a show drift. See close-up picture of can and bottle embedded in the snow.  This is one way to spend a memorable Christmas! Christmas Seasonal - snow beer freezerChristmas Seasonal - snow freezer close-up
Will's Christmas Carol I wish you a Merry Christmas And a Happy New Year, A stocking full of presents And a fridge full of beer. See more funny Christmas carols

More About Amusing Cocktail Cabinets

Do you have a pet name for your cocktail cabinet?  Will's own cocktail cabinet is called a 'Foley'.  The reason being it's short, fat and always full of booze - just like our old friend Dave Foley. These days Guy's drinks cabinet is more of a 'Barker', long thin, but rarely contains any booze these days - just like another of our friends Dave Barker.

Cat Advent Calendar

Funny Cat Advent Calendar Our cat Advent calendar is a work in progress, so far we are only up to the 16th of December.  Goodness knows who we will choose for the 25th of December!  See more funny Christmas cats

Funny Advent Calendar Story - You Couldn't Make it UpHistory of the Advent Calendar

Inspired by these calendars, Guy ordered a normal religious advent calendar to be delivered on to a relative on the 1st of December.  It arrived in time, however it had plastered on the outside.  'Do not open until Christmas'.  Fortunately, Guy was in contact with the relative on November 29th, to was able to explain persuade them to open the calendar on the 1st December.  When Guy queried it, nobody in dispatch knew realized that advent started 25 days before Christmas.   Advent in Trafalgar Square, LondonTrafalgar Square, London, England Each year the people of Norway donate an enormous Christmas tree which is decorated and displayed in Trafalgar Square in central London. What is less well known is that illuminated by the tree every evening between 5pm and 9pm choirs sing Christmas carols through Advent beneath Nelson's column. Donations go to charity and anyone can join in more information. Advent Season - A Celebration Near You? Will and Guy are always on the look out for interesting items to add to the Advent page, so, if your town, city or village are doing anything special for Advent please let us know.

Meanwhile, Another Funny Christmas Ad-Vent Calendar

Add-Vent Advent calendar Add Vent Calendar, sponsored by the Engrish Company!

New Advent Calendar for 2012 (Prototype)

The Working Man's Christmas Adult Christmas Jokes

Drink Alarm

You can protect you pint with this Beer Burglar Alarm System. Attach the 'sucker' to the side of your beer glass or bottle, set the proximity alert and walk away.  Whenever someone comes within 30cm (12 inches) of your beer the mafia style voice alert sounds: 'Keepa Da Hands off ma BEER!'

History of the Advent CalendarHistory of the Christmas Advent Calendar

From the point of view of the Christian faith, Advent starts 4 Sundays before Christmas.  Thus Advent in the religious sense could begin as early as 28th of November or as late as the 3rd of December.  It was probably the German Protestants or Lutherans who invented the idea of Advent Calendar as running from December 1 - 25. As a child, Gerhard Lang's mother had made him a basic advent calendar so that he could count down the days until Christmas. She placed 24 sweets onto a piece of cardboard and each day the young Gerhard would take and eat a sweet. When he grew up Gerhard Lang made the first printed advent calendar in 1908. Later, in 1946, we see Richard Sellmer producing almanacs in Germany. The US authorities had to grant him a license in the now post war Germany which led to his advent calendars becoming known and indeed very popular in the USA. History of the Advent CalendarSellmer's first advent calendar was called 'The Little Town'. The calendar had pictures of many buildings in the town and you would open the windows and the doors to find nice things underneath for each day of advent. Although these are not funny advent calendars, they are interesting, in particular Sellmer produced a very popular lamp shade advent calendar that would fit any lamp and would revolve under heat with 24 windows to open. These calendars can still be purchased from the Sellmer organisation today. By the end of the 1950s, chocolate advent calendars had appeared, and by the following decade they had become widespread. People still make or buy advent calendars nowadays, with hundreds of different varieties appearing across the globe.  A Carols' Calendar was created with a carol for each day of advent. In 1954 they produced the 'White House calendar' with the scenery of the White House in Washington. They then produced many varieties of pull out advent calendars. Today, the most typical advent calendar is printed on cardboard with twenty four small doors. These calendars have many themes from religious ones with Mary and Joseph travelling to the stable, nativity scenes, church scenes, Bethlehem, winter wonderland and many more. A Santa stocking advent calendar offers a different idea. The stocking has a picture of a Christmas tree on it and you hang an ornament on the tree on each day of Advent. Celebrating advent with an advent calendar is an ideal way to prepare for Christmas especially with children. The tradition of the advent calendars adds more meaning to Christmas for families everywhere.History Advent Calendar See Christmas Traditions Around the World

An Advent Calendar to Avoid?An Advent Calendar to Avoid

In Hanover, Germany the tourist office had to withdraw a funny Advent calendar, showing a serial killer brandishing a meat cleaver.  The man in question is Fritz Haarman, known as the Butcher of Hanover, he killed 24 young men then chopped up their corpses and dumped their remains in the river Leine.  Haarman is depicted on the calendar lurking behind a tree on the river bank. A jobsworth admitted that the advent calendar was: 'perhaps a little off-colour'.  Another official tried to defend the calendar by saying, 'He is part of our city's history. Even on guided tours the serial killer's story is told.' It's hard to work out why you cannot buy this Haarman advent calendar, is it because Hanover have withdrawn it, or has it sold out? See our adult Christmas jokes.
Advent Definition: Incidentally, Advent means 'Coming' as in Jesus will be born soon.

An Advent Games Calendar

Will and Guy don't know what to make of this calendar.  It could be a neat idea, or else it could be getting away from the principles of the traditional Christmas Advent CalendarHistory of the Advent Calendar Advent Games Calendar See also Hanukkah

Finally, Two Classic Advent Calendars

Lovely Snowman Advent Calendar Snowman Advent calendar Interesting Christmas Advent Almanac Astrological Advent calendar

Advent - The Church's Perspective

Remember that Christians calculate the start of Advent not from the 1st of December, but from the 4th Sunday before Christmas.  Some Eastern churches begin advert in mid-November.   For many true Christians this is a time of prayer, fasting, and penitence.

See our Christmas carols »

Footnote: Please send us your funny Advent calendar.