- Story of the Taxi Driver and St Peter
- Poor Sick Boy
- A Prayer for Easter Sunday
- Maria Told Her Mother Gladly
The Funny Story of the Taxi Driver and St Peter
More Sermon Jokes For Easter
It's funny how one sermon joke reminds you of another.What Price a Sermon?
One Easter Sunday the Reverend Jones announced to his congregation, 'My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...... A $100 sermon that lasts five minutes A $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes And a $20 sermon that lasts a full hour.
Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver.'
A Vicar and His Son
Andrew was watching his father, a Vicar, write a sermon for the Easter service. 'How do you know what to say?' Andrew asked. 'Why, God tells me', the father replied. 'Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?'Easter EvangelistA man says to evangelist lady who is preaching in the street during lent: "I know what YOU are! You're a 'happy clapper'".
"Oh no I'm not!" she said. "I'm a Walkie Talkie!"
[True story]
Maria Told Her Mother Gladly
Maria came home from Sunday School on Palm Sunday and told her mother that she had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took her mother a while before she realised that the hymn Maria had been singing was really: "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear."A New Twist on Lot's tale
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' His son asked, 'What happened to the flea?'Poor Sick Boy
Marty, a little boy, was in church one Easter Sunday with his mother Doris, when he started feeling sick. 'Mummy,' he inquired, 'can we leave now?' 'No,' his mother replied, 'the service isn't over yet.' 'Well, I think I'm about to throw up.' Marty announced. 'Then go out of the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.' said Doris. After about sixty seconds, Marty returned to his pew, alongside his mother. 'Did you throw up?' Marty's Mum asked quietly. 'Yes,' Marty answered, embarrassed. 'How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?' Doris demanded. 'I didn't have to go out of the church, Mummy. They have a box next to the front door that says, "For the Sick".'Funny Church Notices for Easter
- Baptisms: After Easter, the North and South ends of the church will be utilised. Children will be baptised at both ends.
- Bible Study: Richard, my friend's little grandson came home from Sunday School and I asked him what they had studied. His reply was, 'Nothing.' So I asked him, 'Didn't you study Jesus?' Richard's reply was, 'No, he wasn't even there.'
- Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
A Prayer for Easter Sunday
An Act of Kindness
The neighbor of a four-year-old child was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old Gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just Helped him cry.' Footnote: Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia judged the above to be the most most caring act by a child.Quotes Suitable for Grace on Easter Sunday
- Easter Peace: It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. - Author unknown
- Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. S.D. Gordon
- Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up. - Jesse Jackson
- I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. - Jewish Proverb
- At the end of the day, love and compassion will win. - Terry Waite
- Easter tells us that life is to be interpreted not simply in terms of things but in terms of ideals. Charles M. Crowe
- See more Easter quotes
