Customer: 'I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't
get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel
Operator: 'Sir, 0700 2300 is our opening hours'.
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't
understand who you are talking
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling
the product give you a clue?'
AA Motoring Services
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): 'If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the
other side of the car?'
Directory Enquiries - More Call Center Jokes
1) Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's
no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
2) Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's
it says on the label; Woven in Scotland'.
3) On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
told a worried operator: 'I haven't
got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write
the number on'.
Call Center Jokes - Computer Support
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click
again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'.
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
Word for Windows Saga
always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk
employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect
organization for 'Termination without
Actual dialogue of a former Word for Windows Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Computerperformance assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word for Windows.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
blank; it won't
accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you
still in Word for Windows, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your
cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't
any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
Caller: 'I don't
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the
monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I
need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's
not because I don't
the right angle - it's
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window'.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's
a power cut.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power cut? Aha, Okay, We've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes
and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the attic.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.
Then take it back to the shop you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too ****** stupid to own a computer!
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