Funny Call Center Jokes

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These are actual call center conversations!

Travel CenterCall Center Jokes - Classic help calls

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't
get through to enquiries, can you help?'.

Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'

Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel
Center'.

Operator: 'Sir, 0700 2300 is our opening hours'.

Samsung ElectronicsCan you give me the telephone number for Jack?

Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't
understand who you are talking
about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
Jack?'

Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.

RAC Motoring Services

Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling
in Australia?'

Operator: 'Doesn't
the product give you a clue?'

AA Motoring Services

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): 'If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the
other side of the car?'

Directory Enquiries - More Call Center Jokes

1) Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.

Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's
no listing. Is the spelling correct?'

Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.

2) Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'

Caller: 'Yes. That's
what
it says on the label; Woven in Scotland'.

3) On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
told a worried operator: 'I haven't
got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write
the number on'.

Call Center Jokes - Computer Support

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.

Customer: 'OK'.

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click
again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.

Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click'
and I wrote 'click'.

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.

Word for Windows Saga

There's
always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk
employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect
organization for 'Termination without
Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former Word for Windows Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Computerperformance assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word for Windows.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'

Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'

Caller: 'It's
blank; it won't
accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you
still in Word for Windows, or did you get out??'

Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller: 'What's
a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your
cursor around the screen?'

Caller: 'There isn't
any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller: 'What's
a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's
the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??'

Caller: 'I don't
know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the
monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller: 'No.'

...(vidFL2)

Operator: 'Well, there are. I
need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's
plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller: 'I can't
reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean over??'

Caller: 'Oh, it's
not because I don't
have
the right angle - it's
because it's
dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'

Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window'.

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light
then.'

Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'

Caller: 'Because there's
a power cut.'

Operator: 'A power......... A power cut? Aha, Okay, We've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes
and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the attic.'
Funny Call Center Jokes

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.
Then take it back to the shop you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too ****** stupid to own a computer!

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