Look on the Brighter Side of Life
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar
territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love
peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
More sayings to put you in a cheerful mood
A quip for every occasion. Quotes to put you in a positive frame of mind. A selection of our favourite one-liners. 21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back. 22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 23. Mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states. 24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. 25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. 26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. 27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way. 28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism. 32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks 33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. 34. No one is listening until you make a mistake. 35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
Six Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. Click here to see the other 5 truths
of life ....
Footnote:
Please send us your 'Brighter side of life' one-liners
See more of Guy's top ten jokes and funny stories:
Guy's
Top Ten Home
1) Witticisms
2) Courtroom Stories
3) Uncle Jack's Suit
4) Schoolboy Howlers
5) Doctor Jokes
6) Brighter Side of Life
7) Funny Lawyer Jokes
8) Gassed Budgies
9) Fifteen Things to Know
10) Welsh Films