The Best Short Stories
- A Double Lesson
- Hilltop Winter By Charlene Wexler
- The Funny Story of the Lady and The Lavatory
- The Worry Tree: A Useful and Warm-Hearted Story
- The Native American Medicine Men
- Arresting Barbeque in China
- The Braggart: An Amusingly Droll, Silly Short Story
- Money in Muck
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∇A Double Lesson
A carload of hunters, on holiday, were looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's yard in County Waterford, Ireland. The driver, Brannagh, went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt on the farmer's land. The old farmer said, 'Sure you can hunt, but would you be doing me a favour? That old donkey standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?' Brannagh replied, 'Of course I will,' and strolled back to the car. While walking back, however, Brannagh decided to play a trick on his hunting friends. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said if it was alright, he said, 'No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old fellow a lesson he won't forget.' With that, the Irishman rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and shot the donkey. As he shouted, 'To be sure, that will teach him,' a second shot rang out from the passenger side and one of his hunting mates yelled, 'And me, begorrah, I got the cow.'Hilltop Winter By Charlene Wexler
Here I am sitting in the house the whole damn cold, snowy, dreary winter with a sick cat who can't eat, while I can't stop eating. As I finish another brownie I start telling myself to stop, but somehow my hands and mouth refuse to listen to my brain. If I stay away from the scale I will have no idea if I've gained any weight. Who can tell when you spend the day in sweats or a bathrobe anyway? In the old days before retirement I had to dress decently and make it out the door. Not anymore. Anyway, it is just not worth trying to battle the ice and snow on the hill where I live. Or on our cars. We haven't put a car in the garage in 30 years--it is loaded with bicycles, tires, tools, and other stuff we never use, while our four old cars sit outside covered with snow, all with batteries that die in cold weather. Eighteen years ago I thought that buying a house on a hill was charming, but now at 71, that hill leaves me in fear of broken bones. Old brittle bones creak and crack easily. Break a major one and you are done for. Just a broken toe has caused me to put all my beautiful expensive high heels on the shelf where I can admire them from a distance only. Being stuck inside for four months can make one stir crazy. Cabinets and drawers have been cleaned, books have been read, games played on the internet, and all conversation between me and my husband put at a standstill. Thank God--otherwise, might kill each other because of too much togetherness! We even tried sex but hell, we're in our seventies, and we were worried if we got too frisky that the ambulance would have trouble getting up the icy hill. So here I am cooking, baking, and eating again. Actually, the beloved Spring to which I've so looked forward is on my dread list, because I will have to fit into real clothes and eventually a bathing suit. I'd better get a Krispy Kreme doughnut before I go into a deep depression! Footnote:
Author Charlene Wexler won a
2015 Communications Concepts Award of Excellence for her book Murder Across
the Ocean. Will and Guy appreciate being able to
publish this story from an author who knows how to craft words.
See more work by Charlene Wexler.
The Funny Story of the Lady and The Lavatory or Water Closet (WC)
Many years ago, remember Will and Guy, you couldn't count on a public toilet facility when travelling either at home or abroad. This true, short and funny story is about an English woman who was planning a trip of a lifetime to India. She had booked in to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In Britain, a bathroom is occasionally called a WC which stands for "Water Closet". This, rather genteel lady wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring about the WC. The school master who was not very fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.The Hilarious Reply
Will and Guy are able to share with you the schoolmaster's reply - it could cause paroxysms of mirth. Dear Madam,
The Best Short Stories According to Will and Guy
The Worry Tree: A Useful and Warm-Hearted Story

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The Native American Medicine Men Saga
There were once four wise Indian medicine men who were considered to be the most clever and knowledgeable across all the prairies and forests. They learned nearly everything about nearly anything and were often asked for advice and to find solutions for the most difficult problems. One day, a young Indian boy asked which of the four was the wisest because of course there must be one more wise than the others. This caused much arguing and debating among the people. To find out once and for all, one of the elders of the nation was given the task of devising a test to settle the matter. After much consideration, the perfect test was put before them. The four medicine men were told to walk into the woods. Their test would be found at the base of a single cedar tree in a broad clearing. They started out early the next morning and, after walking many miles, came to the tree in the clearing. At the base of the tree was a large pile of bleached bones. They appeared to be those of some sort of animal. The four puzzled over the bones for some time before the first man spoke. 'I will use my knowledge to put these bones back together. That will prove my wisdom.' After some time, the bones stood erect and interlocking.

Bring Me The Winner
Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. Well then bring me the winner.The Miser Gets His Just Reward: A Funny and Salutary Story
Bryan, had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his finances. Bryan loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, Emma, 'Now listen, Emm, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife.' So he demanded that Emma promised him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him. Well, of course, one day he died. Bryan was stretched out in the casket, Emma was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait just a minute.' Emma had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, 'I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket, Emma?'
Arresting Barbeque in China
An escaped convict has been recaptured at a party organised at the local
police station. Police in Xinzhu city, Taiwan, invited residents to
celebrate the Moon Festival with them. Officers could not believe their eyes
when they saw an escaped drug dealer called Chen, who had just been listed
as one of the city's most wanted criminals, at the party. Police
officer Cai Zhengtong, who was in charge of the barbecue, said, 'I saw a man
dressed in an eye-catching yellow windbreaker enter the place and sit in the
corner. He was enjoying the barbecue with the others. I really
couldn't believe my eyes, since the man was just the criminal we were
seeking.' Police at the party quickly arrested Chen. He told officers he thought it
would have been the last place police would have thought of looking for him.The Braggart: An Amusingly Droll, Silly Short Story
One day at work, Bob was bragging that he knew everyone that was anyone. His boss, Rod, got tired of his boasting and decided to check it all out. He said, 'OK Bob, how about Clint Eastwood? Do you know him?' 'Oh sure,' said Bob. 'He and my Dad shoot grouse together and he's a great guy.' 'OK, prove it,' said Rod. 'Let's fly out to Carmel, USA, and you can introduce me.' 'Great.' said Bob. And so they did. They took a taxi to Mr. Eastwood's estate, Bob knocks on the door, Mr. Eastwood opens it and shouts, 'Bob! Hey, great to see you! You and your friend come on in and have lunch.' Ron was very was impressed, but still rather sceptical. When they left after lunch, he said, 'That was a coincidence that you knew Clint Eastwood. How about President Obama?' 'Sure, I know him,' replied Bob. So, they fly off to Washington, DC and head to the White House. As they are touring the grounds, Mr Obama sees Bob and comes right over saying, 'My word, Bob, I haven't seen you in a couple years. Come on in, have some coffee and let's catch up.' After a couple hours, Bob and his boss, Ron, are escorted off the White House grounds and Bob asks his boss, 'Well, do you believe me now?' His boss, shaken and a bit bewildered, but still not completely convinced says, 'I'll believe you if you show me you know one more person - the Pope.' 'Certainly,' says Bob, 'I've known Pope Benedict since I was just a little kid. Let's fly over to Italy.' So, off to Rome they fly and join a mass of people in St Peter's Square waiting to catch a glimpse of the Pope. Bob says, 'There's no way I can get the Pope's attention with all these people here. How about if I go talk to one of the guards I know and then I'll come out on the balcony and wave.' Ron patiently waits as Bob heads off into the crowd. About 15 minutes later, the Pope emerges on the balcony and right beside him is Bob waving to the crowd. When Bob returned a few minutes later to where he had left his boss, there were paramedics there surrounding his boss laying on the ground - he had had a heart attack. Bob rushes up and asks what happened. Ron looks up at him and gasps, 'I was doing OK when you came out on the balcony. But then the guy next to me asks 'Hey, who's that up on there on the balcony with Bob?' See more shaggy dog stories.Money in Muck - Short Story Sent By a Reader
When I was a child my family was quite poor and my Father and Mother worked very hard for little reward. We often moved as my father sought better employment and at the time of this story I was 10 years old. The family consisted of my father, mother, 2 year old twin brother & sister and myself. My father had just got a new job but at the time we had no house, instead the five of us lived in a caravan on a site that was run by a farmer who made Scrooge look generous.

...(vidFL2)
In our caravan things were soon reaching the point of no return and I remember my father returning from yet another appeal to the farmer without success. My
mother being a very house-proud woman was beside herself over the situation. Several people on the site had taken drastic action and emptied their toilets into a ditch which ran along the back of the site near
to our caravan. My mother thought this was terrible and would have no part in this until sadly we were left with no other option. That evening my mother made my father wait until it was dark before she
allowed him to remove the chemical toilet, the shame for her was too much to bear. As you can imagine this was an extremely delicate task as the toilet was really at critical mass level. My father gently walked
across the grass to the ditch as if he was carrying a flask of nitro-glycerine, I remember this took an eternity. My mother was red faced with shame and luckily for her was hiding inside the caravan and
therefore spared what happened next. Eventually my father reached the top of the ditch without spilling any of the contents of the toilet but unfortunately as people had been there before him the ground
was slippery. As my father was about to empty the toilet he lost his balance and I can only describe it as a windmilling action that I saw as he endeavoured to stay upright. Sadly, he never made it and flew
through the air landing face down in the bottom of the ditch amongst the debris that previous desperate people had left. A split second later our toilet landed upon his back covering him from head to foot.