Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.
- Haircut Sir?
- Chinese Hairdresser
- Funny Barber
- A Bad Hair Day?
- Footballers Exchange Hair
- Bread Statue
Akpos: How much to cut my hair?
Barber: 500 Naira
Akpos: How much
do you charge for a shave?
Barber: 50 Naira
Akpos: Oya shave my hair!
Thanks to Mary Efemuaye for sending this joke.
Mary was flying from Dublin, Ireland, to Chicago; she had a problem with
her luggage so she asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a
'Of course child. What may I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive hair dryer for my mother's birthday. It is
unopened and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it because I cannot pay the 20%
import duty. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for
me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.' Said
When they got to the customs at O'Hare airport, she let the priest go
first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have
to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which
is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the customs officer said, 'Go ahead, Father'.
Zhang Yi and Yuan Sha Sha went for a 38 yuan ($5) haircut at Baolou
International Beauty Salon in Zhengzhou, China. However, the barbers
charged them an extortionate 12,000 yuan $1,700.
This was the last straw for the authorities, who had already received
numerous complaints of over-charging. They acted and fined hair salon
500,000 yuan ($75,000). Furthermore, much to the delight of local
residents, the Zhengzhou authorities closed down the salon.
Another Close Shave?
There are lots of barbershops in America's Finest City, but you have to read reviews of San Diego barbershops to find the best one.
Akpos: How much do you cut hair?
Barber: 500 Naira
Akpos: How much do
Barber: 50 Naira
Akpos: Oya shave my hair!
Close Encounter with a Lawn Mower
A priest goes into a barber's shop sits down, gets a good haircut, thanks the barber, and asks how much he owes him.
The barber says, 'Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth there is no charge
The priest blesses the barber and says, 'Thank you very much' and goes about his business. The next day, 10 gold coins magically appear on the barber's doorstep.
A few days later, a Buddhist monk goes in for a
shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, 'No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the people, it's on the house.'
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep
are 10 magnificent rubies.
The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay and the barber says, 'No, Rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man, I can't take any money from you, go in
Then the next day, the barber opens his shop to find 10 Rabbis waiting for a haircut.
Funny Hair and Beauty Shop Names
- Cut & Face (Beauty salon)
- Hair Force One (Hair salon)
- Let's Face It (Dermal / facial shop)
- Wash Your Problem (Laundry shop)
Berlin - A German man drank too much, wet his bed and set fire to his apartment while trying to dry his bedding, police in the western town of Muelheim said on Monday.
'He was too drunk to go
to the toilet, 'said a police spokesman.'
The next morning he put a switched-on hairdryer on the bed to dry it and left the apartment.'
When the 60-year-old returned, his home and belongings were in
Firemen eventually put out the blaze.
As reported by the Reuters News Agency
Another Bad Hair Day?
Alan walks in to the barbershop.
The barber says, 'What will it
Alan replies says, 'Well I want it going with my waves on
top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of
shape and messed up.'
The barber answers frowning, 'Now why in the
world do you want your hair cut like that?'
Alan says, 'That's how
you cut it last time.'
In a Dayton barbershop:
"During vacation of
owner, a competent hair stylist will be here."
Good Hair Day?
Barber Shop in Glasgow, Scotland.
Another Barber Joke
Paul enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming
him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the
'I have just the thing,' says the barber taking a small wooden ball
from a nearby drawer. 'Just place this between your cheek and gum.'
Paul places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds
with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes
the client asks in garbled speech. 'And what if I swallow it?'
problem,"' says the barber. 'Just bring it back tomorrow like
everyone else does.'
One of UK politician, the late Enoch
Powell's most famous quips was prompted by an encounter with the resident
House of Commons barber: a notoriously chatty chap, who enjoyed treating
captive clients to his views on politics and the state of the world.
When Powell went in for a trim, the barber asked the standard question:
"How should I cut your hair, Sir?"
"In silence," was Powell's instant riposte.
[Will and Guy concur with Enoch on a nice quiet haircut]
Ancient Rome Barber
A barber, an absent minded
professor and a bald man go on a long journey together and have to camp out
overnight so they decide to take it in turns to watch the luggage. The
barber volunteers for the first watch while the other two sleep but soon
gets bored so he decides to pass the time by shaving the professor's head.
When his shift is up he wakes the professor who pats his head and exclaims,
'God, that barber is a real idiot, he's woken up baldy instead of me.'
See more ancient
Chinese Style Haircut
A man gets a haircut featuring Tiananmen Gate at a barbershop, to
commemorate the 60th anniversary  of the founding of the People's
Republic of China, in Zhengzhou, Henan.
Please send us your barber jokes and funny haircut pictures.